When your ex moves on and starts seeing someone new, it can be a real adjustment, especially when you share a child. It is natural to feel protective or uneasy about someone new becoming part of your child’s life, and to want to understand what say you have over the situation.
Can I stop my ex’s new partner from seeing my child?
In most cases, no. You generally cannot stop your ex’s new partner from being around your child simply because you are uncomfortable with the relationship.
The position may be different if you have genuine concerns about your child’s safety or wellbeing. In those circumstances, it is important to understand what options may be available to you.
Parental responsibility
In the UK, both parents usually have parental responsibility for their child, meaning they both have a say in important decisions such as schooling or healthcare.
Your ex’s new partner does not automatically gain parental responsibility simply because they are in a relationship with them. This means they do not automatically have the same rights or responsibilities when it comes to making important decisions about your child.
What if I’m worried about my ex’s new partner?
If your concerns are about more than simply disliking or feeling uncomfortable with the new relationship, the position may be different.
For instance, if the new partner has a criminal history or behaves in a way that could harm your child’s safety or wellbeing, you might have grounds to bring this up in court.
If you believe that the new partner poses a danger, you can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order (PSO). This is an order that prevents a specific action, like introducing a new partner to the child, if it’s seen as harmful. But to get a PSO, you must provide solid evidence that the new partner is a risk. Courts don’t issue PSOs based on the presence of a new partner alone. The standard for proving harm or risk is high, so you’ll need clear proof of danger.
What if there is already a Child Arrangements Order?
If there is already a court order setting out when your child spends time with each parent, your ex’s new partner can generally be present during your ex’s time with the child unless the order says otherwise or there are safety concerns.
For example, if your child spends the weekend with your ex, their new partner may also be there.
Having a Child Arrangements Order does not usually give one parent control over who the other parent spends time with when the child is in their care.
The importance of communication
While you may not have the power to ban your ex’s new partner from seeing your child, open communication is key. Discussing your concerns with your ex can go a long way. You don’t need to shut the door on their new relationship, but you can set boundaries that protect your child’s emotional needs.
For instance, you might ask that the new partner only meets your child after the relationship is more serious or agree on how and when they’ll interact with your child. Clear communication about your expectations can help keep things on track and reduce tension between you and your ex.
What if my child doesn’t like my ex’s new partner?
As children grow older and become better able to express their views, those views may carry more weight.
If the matter reaches court, your child’s wishes and feelings may be considered, particularly where the situation is affecting their emotional wellbeing.
That does not necessarily mean your child gets to decide whether a new partner can be around them. Their views will be considered alongside the wider circumstances, with their welfare remaining the court’s priority.
Knowing where you stand
The right approach will depend on why you are concerned about your ex’s new partner.
Feeling uncomfortable about someone new becoming part of your child’s life is understandable, but it is different from having genuine concerns about your child’s safety or wellbeing. Understanding that distinction can help you decide whether this is something to discuss with your ex or whether you need to take further advice.
If the matter does need to go further, the court’s focus will always be on your child’s welfare and whether there is a genuine reason for concern.
We’re here to help
If you’re worried about your ex’s new partner being around your child and are unsure what you can do, a conversation with our Family team can help you understand where you stand.
Whether you have specific safety concerns or simply want some clarity about your options following separation or divorce, our divorce solicitors can provide clear, practical advice when you need it.
